My two sense

Here it is, the first blog post. I am sitting here collecting my thoughts and my nerves, trying to ignore the sweaty palms and queasy stomach. To be honest, this is more nerve-wracking than getting married, giving birth, and moving halfway across the globe. Writing has always been stressful for me - essays, stories, and even single words.

As a kid, I tried to get out of it in school. I never volunteered to be the “recorder’ for group projects or raised my hand to write on the board. What if I got something wrong? What if I SPELLED something wrong? A simple word, a word that I *should* have known how to spell. I may have disliked writing but I struggled with spelling. So much spelling shame I have dragged around for so many years. So many papers coming back with red circles. So many barely passed spelling tests. My own middle name- spelled wrong. Even copying words, I’d spell them wrong. Getting glasses when the chalkboard got fuzzy didn’t help. Neither did years of eye therapy. Nor did following the advice to “sound it out” (I really couldn’t do that either). The tricks like a FRIEND to the END helped to an extent but there’s not a trick for every single word. I was smart (although self-conscious) and I liked learning. Teachers weren’t too concerned because even if I was disorganized and couldn’t spell well, I was well behaved, understood the material, and could read. Still, I kept my expectations low. How could I be an honor student if I couldn’t even spell? I did what was required, but didn’t push myself academically. I didn’t take challenging courses and applied to colleges I knew I could get into.

But... I liked learning, so much I studied to be a teacher. It wasn’t until my student teaching experience, my very last semester of college I actually learned about spelling. I was creating homework for 4th graders with learning disabilities and I learned why there was a double “ss” in “kiss”. Here I was, an adult, with 17 YEARS of formal education and not once did anyone explain WHY words were spelled the way they were. Let that sink in. 17 years, 1 year of Kindergarten, 12 years of public school, 4 years of college… I was at the ‘end’ of my journey as a full-time student and only then learned that there was a why and a reason and coherence to spelling. A light turned on. No wonder I couldn’t keep all those letters from swirling around in my head. I didn’t understand the system. Once the system is understood, the details fall into place.

It took some time to understand the system. I’m still understanding it. But, now I have the chance to share my understanding. I think about my swirling emotions now and swirling letters of youth, this dichotomy of emotions and thoughts. I recognize the sense of shame of the past and reconcile it with my present sense of purpose. Learning and teaching, looking back while stepping forward.

Now, spelling is a passion of mine and I'd love to share it with you. For more help with spelling or literacy, please contact me!

~Jen

Jenp@insightintolearning.com